Leviticus 15:19-24

Yeah, that’s the Bible.

We were invited to a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. During the service I started flipping through looking for a decent story. I did this a couple years ago too. Yom Kippur fell on a weekend so Pam asked if I would go with them. That was the first time I ever really tried to read the Bible. It was pretty eye opening. I don’t recall the specifics but I remember reading a number of passages in which God required people to do some crazy shit to prove their faith in him. I think somebody had to kill their son or wife. And somebody else had to sit on a hill for a long period of time. As someone reading this for the first time, it didn’t make me feel like God is omnipotent. Instead the character was an insecure, narcissistic ass hole.

Anyway, I figured I’d give it another shot today. I didn’t find God being an ass hole, but I did find more stuff that makes it difficult for me to believe that anybody follows this stuff. Today I read the rules in Leviticus. There was a lot of stuff that didn’t make sense or was inconsistent, but the topper was Leviticus 15:19-24.

The commentary on the version I read said that the touch from a woman on her period can kill crops, rust iron, and make a mirror stop reflecting. Now that’s power! It also required her at the end to bring 2 turtledoves to her priest as an offering because of her uncleanliness. I wonder if this has anything to do with the “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. I always found cumulative songs and stories to be annoying, but maybe I have to pay attention.

Also during the services, there was a moment when we were all standing. The rabbi finished a prayer. She then directed us to remain standing while we pray silently to ourselves. When done, we should sit.

I immediately sat down. In fairness, I was immediately done. I don’t pray. I don’t even know how to pray. And if I did know how, I still don’t think I would do it. I think this tweet sums it up pretty well:

Final thing. Julia’s stomach was super growly during the services. Probably the loudest, longest rumbles I’ve ever heard. That kid is like me…always needs to eat. It reminded me of Ron’s funeral when she wanted to go up for communion. Maybe religious services make her hungry.


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